If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
