i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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