Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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