Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
