i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
