Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
