girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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