i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
