im about as happy as oj after his trial
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
