As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
