Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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