thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
