you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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