TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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