So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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