Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
