The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
