You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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