Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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