You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
