did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
