I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
