wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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