i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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