Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
