I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
