im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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