I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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