It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
