Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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