he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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