shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
