what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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