Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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