time to smoke my breakfast
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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