We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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