Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize