Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
