break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
