It's Friday. Sex?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
