I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
