i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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