Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
