We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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