we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
