and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
