just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
