Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
