is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
