I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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