high people should be assigned attendants
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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