# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
