I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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