I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
